The Tutorial

Finally, I have decided to write a tutorial. After spending 12% of my life in the industry, I realized that everybody has a responsibility to contribute to the software industry. I have learned a lot of things from the blogs of my 1st degree friends, 2nd degree friends, 3rd degree friends…So, I can also use this channel to share my experiences. The people who do not know what the different degrees, mentioned above, mean, must read the following lines carefully. A direct friend is a 1st degree friend. The friend of friend is a 2nd degree friend and the same logic extends up to infinity. This means that this whole world is my friend. So, by writing a tutorial I am helping the world and not just the small software industry. I think the tutorial should start now. So, here it goes.

Title: Bade Mian Deewane Aise Na bano, Haseena Kya Chaahe Humse Suno.

Tips:
• The first and foremost rule is that you must not be embarrassed for anything you do. If you are the one with an excess of amour-propre then please do not waste your time. Wait for your mum and dad to settle the things for you.Please go to the last step.
• When you look at a girl and you fall for her. Just try to pass a smile. If she does the same then go to the next step. Otherwise, may be you’ll meet another today. So, wait.
• Wait for the girl everyday and try to catch her eyes with the same silly smile.
• Your get up must guarantee that you look like a gentleman even if you are not a gentleman in reality. But make sure that you start working on how you will become a gentleman? If you don’t do this you might loose the friendship which you achieved with such hard work and dedication.
• Start a formal talk when you meet her next time.
• Now, it depends on you how do you present yourself to her. So, keep a very clear picture in your mind of what you talk about when you meet her. You must be able to talk nonsense and you must be able to talk sense. You must be able to use your sense of humor in the way girls like it.
• Don’t stare at a girl. It will leave a infinitely negative impact which cannot be made positive.

Now, the question is where can you find the chicks?
You can find them on the road you jog on; in the office; in the pubs; in the gym, at the dance classes etc.

This is the wiki version of the article. So, you can add your changes. One can report abuse also. All the permissions are granted in the comments section. The tutorial is open for discussions.

Zid hai to zid hai ji...

The game is hockey, the players are girls, the coach is Kabir Khan, the country is India and the mission is to win the world cup.

The Game:
Women Hockey was assumed to be “Gulli- Danda” by some people, a game in which Indian women had no future ‘coz they were “Bhartiya-Nari” who cannot wear shorts and run around in a field. Some of the members of the Indian Women Hockey Association were sure that Indian team would be out of the tournament in the first round itself.
The only constant is change and the perceptions changed finally.

The Girls:
The team for the Women’s World Cup Hockey had been decided and extra efforts were put in selecting the players. They were the best from their states. The girls used to play for their states but they learned to play for their country. They used to play as an individual but they learned to be a team. They were selfish but they learned to fight for each other. Some of them were arrogant but they learned to be modest. Some of them wanted to prove that a girl can also be famous; she can also have a career like boys have. And they proved their worth.
They defeated everyone against them.

The Coach:
He missed a goal in world cup finals in 1982. He shook hand with Pak’s captain in the right spirit and the media made his life hell. The whole nation was angry with him.People called him traitor; he had to leave his ancestral house. But he came back with a vengeance to change the history; to prove that he is not a traitor; to prove that he had been playing for India and he would keep playing for the country. He wanted to get back everything he lost 7 years back. He took the charge of Indians women hockey team. He had sixteen players and he made one team. He steered his team to the world cup victory. He changed the history. Now, people called him the greatest patriot. He was now being called the most successful coach of India.
He proved once again that if there is a will then there is a way. He proved that Impossible can be spelled as I-M-POSSIBLE.

The Country:
India, a country with 28 states and 7 union territories, a country where people speak 428 languages, a country which has the second largest population in the world, is losing the spirit to be the best. We must have a winning attitude. We must identify ourselves only as Indians. We must understand that we need “Neeyat” to win the game.
God bless India!!

Mission:
Accomplished!!!

Message:
Chak De India!!!